Texas Chainsaw 3D

2013 - 0/5

I knew this movie would be horrible and it didn’t prove me wrong.

I’ll be honest. I wrote most of this review before I even saw the movie. So how would I know what I would think of this movie before I even saw it you may ask? Well, you don’t need to be a genius. All you need to know is that a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie came out that has a bunch of nobodies and that there wasn’t a whole lot of hype or advertising for it. Also, it didn’t come out 3 months ago when it should have. If it came out in time for Halloween, it may have done better.

I’ve mentioned this before and I’ll say it again, but 3D is a gimmick that has yet to be perfected. The ONLY reason this movie was 3D is so it could make more money off a single ticket because the director knew making it 3D would add to any hope of breaking even. Also to make it seem as if a chainsaw is coming right at you (isn’t that obvious?).

The only reason I wanted to see this is because I enjoy seeing scary movies with certain friends. And although we watch movies of all genres, horror movies are somewhat of a tradition.

When it comes to the movie itself, the plot sucked, the script sucked, and the acting sucked. The only ‘actor’ I knew to be in this movie was Trey Songz, and that’s only because my friend had told me earlier that day (had I not been told, I would have never known). I did however recognize the ‘sluty chick’ too (the girl from Malcolm in the Middle). Having seen this movie, I can confirm that this group of actors were a bunch of nobodies going nowhere. They don’t have a bright acting future in front of them, and I’m fine with that. Can’t say I liked any of them.

There were 2 thing I was happy about and the first being the length of the movie. It was as long as it need to be and I didn’t feel as if it dragged at any point. The second good thing about this movie was the hot guy that was the cop – but that aspect wasn’t good enough to add any points to my rating (let’s face it, he’s not Zac Efron).

UPDATE (February):
A friend of mine brought to my attention that by having written the majority of the review before I even saw the movie, as well as going into the movie with the mentality of giving it a 0/5 rating, that I wasn't even giving it a chance.
Now, I feel as if I need to address this matter:
Really? REALLY??? Do I actually need to give a movie like this 'a chance'? I paid money... actual money to see this *in theaters*. From where I stand, I think that alone speaks volumes with regards to me giving this movie 'a chance'.